September 26, 2015

I’ve been thinking a lot about my brother Tanner and his fiancee McCall. I’ve had a rocky relationship with them lately, but I want it to get better. I really do. Let me explain: My brother met his fiancée while I was serving my mission. During their courtship, they both faced many spiritual and emotional trials. My brother was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and openly struggled with his testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I had a hard time with this and I struggled to connect with her.

When I returned home from my mission, I came home to a struggling brother and a new sister, someone who I knew nothing about. It was all too much for me to handle. Because of mental illness, my almost sister-in-law acted very indifferently to me.  Not knowing how to handle it, I became very hurt. Even though I knew the hardships they were both dealing with, I still struggled to forgive and love her. It caused me so much angst and the angst grew as time drew on.

As I have time to ponder this relationship with her, I have realized that these feelings are months too old.  These feelings only sometimes haunt me and it’s only when I spend time with them. I find myself being distant from them and moody because of the way they treat me, even though I know they are trying their best. I know that I need to forgive them and I want to. It has taken months, but my feelings are getting better towards them. They aren’t so hostile anymore, but I know that I need to rid them completely.